Untitled (a poem by me)

you treated me better than anyone ever could
probably better than anyone ever will.
you only said the sweetest thing you possibly could.
whenever i lost a game, you erased your points to make it say i won.
anything you texted me i knew could could say staright to my face if you wanted to.
you loved everything about me.
even when i looked like mess,
you called my beautiful
smart
and amazing.
how could i not have felt the same?
you were perfect to me.
how could i just let that go?
you were so hurt.
as you shouldve been.
you loved me.
at least i think so.
ill never really know now, will i?
ill never get a chance to tell you that it really wasnt you causing the problem.
it was all me.
it was all my fault.
you know why?
because the closest to perfect boy
just came around at the closest to worst time in my life.
i was going through so much.
my first real relationship on top of that was so overwhelming.
i just couldnt do it all.
so now i just have the memories.
the memories of the good times.
there were only good time that i can remember.
except the one bad time.
the time when i heard that voice. for the first time.
your voice after your pain of rejection.
i could hear the hurt,
the pain,
just from that voice.
even thinking that i could cause a person that much pain makes me want to cry.
and then i want you back.
i want to take away that hurt forever,
so you can never feel it again.
but the i think again.
am i only remembering the good times?
i heard that your brain tried to block out bad memories of relationships, and only shows you the ones that you want to remember.
but, if that is to be true, why do i remember the good and bad of my other relationships,
and only have good memories of ours?
maybe that's because there were no bad times.
except the time i broke your heart.
so there you have it.
i may have made a terrible mistake over a year ago.
i may just be paying for it now.
i may have let let you go for good.
and i think i miss you.